There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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