i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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