He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
