hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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