You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
