Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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