She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
