i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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