bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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