margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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