ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize