So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
