The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
zippers are such a cool invention
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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