One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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