She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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