Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
