Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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