If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
