I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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