Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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