i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
