I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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