She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
