They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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