oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
