You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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