Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize