D3 body, D1 cock
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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