I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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