I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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