even my farts smell like vagina
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
