I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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