its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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