Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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