It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
