I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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