i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
