so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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