I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
