Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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