You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
