just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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