All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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