That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
