do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
