His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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