You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
