Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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