I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize