I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
