what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
