Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
