At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize