It's Friday. Sex?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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