Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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