OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
