thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i drank out of a bidet.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
