I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
