I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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