Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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