never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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