I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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