last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
