wanna go halves on a baby?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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