your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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