drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
