The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
